A Letter From Your Shadow Child to Your Adult Self

Hi...

Are you sure I can speak?

I’ve been quiet for so long, I don’t even know where to start.
Most of the time, I didn’t think anyone even remembered I was here.

But if you're really listening… then here’s what I want to say.

I’m tired.
I’ve been tired for a long time.

I was just a little girl who wanted to play, be silly, make mistakes, and be hugged when I was scared.
But I didn’t get that.

Instead, I was told to be the helper. The strong one. The one who holds everything together.
So I became that. I tried to be what everyone needed me to be.

But inside, I was scared. So scared.
And lonely.

No one ever asked me how I felt.
No one ever sat down and just held me while I cried.
No one told me it was okay to not be okay.

I remember times when something bad happened, and I wanted to tell someone…
But I couldn’t. Because I thought it would just make things worse.
I thought they wouldn’t believe me.
Or maybe they’d be disappointed in me.

So I kept it all inside. I’ve been hiding in here for so long.

Even now, I’m still afraid.
Afraid you’ll forget about me again.
Afraid you’ll only love me when I behave, when I achieve, when I smile.

But when I heard your letter… something in me softened.
I want to believe you.

I want to believe that I don’t have to carry this anymore.
That you will protect me now.
That I can cry and still be loved.
That I don’t have to do everything alone.

Please don’t leave me.

Hold me close when I’m scared.
Speak to me gently when I freeze.
Give me time when I push away.

And most of all—don’t ask me to grow up so fast again.

Because I’m just a little girl.
And now, I just want to be held.

Love,
🩵 Your shadow child
(Still here. Still trying. Still yours.)