Why Does Everything Empowering Also Feel Exhausting?

"Why Does Everything Empowering Also Feel Like It’s Breaking Me?”

Today, I googled “how to disappear without ruining your career.”
I laughed. Then I cried. Then I made coffee and joined yet another Zoom call with a smile so polished it could blind someone. This is what empowerment looks like now, right? A woman who’s grateful, goal-oriented, and secretly two sleepless nights away from burning out.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I’m tired.
Not just the “I need a nap” kind of tired — I mean bone-deep, soul-level tired.
They told us we’re strong, independent, unstoppable women. That we can do it all.
And I believed them. So now here I am, doing it all — crushing deadlines at work, forcing myself to work out when my body just wants to rest, remembering to call home, trying to be present in conversations when my brain is already on tomorrow’s to-do list… and oh, let’s not forget the side hustle that’s supposed to be my passion but now feels like another obligation.

Sometimes I look at myself and think — when did ambition start feeling like a weight instead of a fire? When did "empowered" start meaning “constantly exhausted but smiling through it”?
I scroll through my feed and see women “killing it,” building brands, eating clean, glowing at 7 a.m.
Meanwhile, I’m celebrating if I remember to take my vitamins before collapsing into bed with my laptop still open.

It’s like I’m running on a treadmill that won’t stop. And every time I dare to slow down, a voice inside whispers, “You’re falling behind.”
Behind who? Behind what? I don’t even know anymore.
I just want to pause. To breathe — without guilt. To not have to constantly prove I’m managing it all just to be seen as “worthy” or “empowered.”
I want to be okay with not having it all together. I want rest to feel like self-respect, not weakness.

Here’s what I’ve learned in this chaos:
Empowerment doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It doesn’t mean burning out in silence with a smile on your face.
Real power? It’s in knowing when to step back, when to say no, when to let something go — even if just for a little while.

So if you’re reading this, let this be your permission slip too:
Take off the cape. Close the laptop. Let the hustle wait.
You don’t need to earn rest. You deserve it — because you’re human, not a machine.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be stronger again. But tonight, I just needed to say this out loud.
To myself.
And maybe… for you too.