how is gender roles affecting Indian families.

In a cosy home nestled in the hills of Uttarakhand, 34-year-old Meera wakes up before the sun does. She prepares breakfast, packs lunchboxes, and sees off her children and husband. Only after everyone leaves does she sip her first cup of tea, cold by now. Meera holds a postgraduate degree in literature, but her dreams are buried beneath layers of expectation, culture, and sacrifice. She never complains—but lately, she wonders: Who decided this is how it’s supposed to be?

This is not just Meera’s story. It’s the quiet reality of millions of Indian families shaped—often unknowingly—by traditional gender roles.

A Cultural Inheritance

In many Indian homes, gender roles are not spoken, yet deeply felt. They're inherited like family heirlooms—subtle, powerful, and passed on across generations.

Boys are often told, “You’re the man of the house now,” while girls hear, “Learn to cook, one day you'll need to manage your own home.” These phrases may seem harmless, but they plant seeds that grow into deeply rooted beliefs about worth, responsibility, and identity.

From childhood to marriage and parenthood, these roles silently script the dynamics within Indian families. And while some traditions bring comfort and continuity, others become cages—especially for women, but increasingly, for men too.

The Emotional Cost of Conformity

For women, the expectation to be the primary caregiver often means compromising careers, personal aspirations, and even health. According to a 2022 report by McKinsey Global Institute, Indian women contribute only 18% to the GDP despite comprising nearly 50% of the population. One key reason? Unpaid domestic labour.

But men aren’t untouched. While women bear the weight of sacrifice, men often shoulder the pressure of being sole providers, suppressing emotions in favour of appearing strong and dependable. Mental health becomes a silent casualty. The societal message is clear: Men don’t cry. Women don’t lead.

These gendered boxes steal not just opportunities, but joy, authenticity, and balance from everyday family life.

The Modern Indian Family: Torn Between Two Worlds

India is evolving. Urbanisation, education, and global exposure are reshaping how families function. Young couples now share parenting duties, men attend prenatal classes, and women are becoming financial decision-makers. Yet, many still wrestle with guilt or resistance—from within and outside the home.

Take the case of Shruti and Rohan, a couple from Pune. When Shruti returned to work three months after giving birth, eyebrows were raised. Her in-laws hinted she was being "too ambitious." Rohan, who adjusted his work hours to take care of their baby, was mocked by colleagues as being "too soft." Their choice was progressive, but the cultural current around them flowed in the opposite direction.

This tug-of-war creates stress and emotional fatigue. Families that want to break the mold often find themselves isolated, questioned, or forced to defend their choices.

Rewriting the Script: One Conversation at a Time

Change doesn’t always begin with revolutions. Often, it starts at the dinner table.

Families who challenge traditional gender roles usually begin with honest conversations—about fairness, dreams, and shared responsibility. It’s about fathers cooking dinner, daughters fixing the Wi-Fi, and mothers discussing investments.

When 60-year-old Kusum from Bhopal began teaching her son how to cook during the pandemic, she wasn’t just passing on a skill. She was rewriting a script she had herself followed for decades.

These shifts may seem small, but they ripple through generations. A boy who grows up seeing his father respect his mother’s career is more likely to respect his wife’s. A girl who sees her brother helping with housework feels less burdened to "do it all."

The Digital Push: Breaking Stereotypes Online

Social media has become a surprising ally in this cultural shift. From Instagram reels that show dads doing their daughters’ hair to YouTube channels of stay-at-home dads, the internet is normalising what was once taboo.

Influencers, educators, and everyday families are using platforms to question gender norms, share personal stories, and offer representation that many never had growing up.

But digital change alone isn’t enough. It needs to be mirrored in policy, education, and most importantly, in homes.

Gender Roles and the Future of Indian Families

If India is to grow as an inclusive, emotionally resilient, and economically stable society, families must evolve beyond rigid gender norms.

This doesn’t mean erasing tradition, but updating it.

A mother can still lovingly cook for her child—but so can a father. A woman can be nurturing and career-driven. A man can be ambitious and emotionally available. These are not contradictions—they are human possibilities.

When families allow members to choose their roles based on interest, not gender, everyone thrives.

Pause and Reflect: What Role Are You Playing?

• Are your family roles divided by capability or gender?

• Are your children seeing both parents contribute at home?

• Are you unknowingly reinforcing outdated norms in your own relationships?

Reflection is the first step toward transformation.

In Closing: Let Love, Not Labels, Define Our Families

India’s greatest strength is its diversity—of language, culture, belief, and now, increasingly, of thought. Let’s extend that diversity to how we define roles in our homes.

Meera, from the hills of Uttarakhand, is now starting an online book club. Her husband helps with cooking on weekends, and her children proudly say, "Mummy is a writer!" It’s a small shift in one home—but a giant step toward change.

Let’s raise families where both girls and boys learn to dream, cook, cry, lead, love, and live fully—not according to gender, but according to who they are.

Because in the end, the most loving families are not the ones that follow the rules—but the ones that write their own.