Understanding the Dynamics of Bhabhi and Nanad Relationships in Indian Households: Challenges and Solutions

“When a woman marries, she doesn’t just marry a man—she marries into a web of relationships.”

This age-old adage is especially true in Indian households, where family is not a backdrop but the very stage of life. Among the most nuanced and emotionally charged bonds is that between the bhabhi (sister-in-law) and nanad (husband’s sister). A relationship defined less by blood and more by shared space, expectations, and power dynamics, it is often underexplored but deeply impactful.

At its best, this relationship can be one of solidarity, sisterhood, and support. At its worst, it can be a minefield of jealousy, competition, and silence. But why is this bond so complex? And how can we make room for more empathy, understanding, and mutual respect?

Welcome to The Pulse—a space where stories meet reflection. Today, we dive into the emotional terrain of the bhabhi-nanad relationship, unearthing both the roots of conflict and seeds of healing.

Cultural Conditioning: The Invisible Script

In Indian families, the roles of women are often pre-written. The bhabhi is expected to be nurturing, sacrificial, and respectful. The nanad, on the other hand, often sees herself as a guardian of her brother’s world, and by extension, someone who must “test” or “approve” of his wife.

From Bollywood portrayals to whispered kitchen conversations, the idea that these two women must compete—for affection, for space, for respect—is deeply embedded in our cultural psyche.

But here’s the truth: these expectations aren’t natural; they’re constructed.

When we position two women in a household with predetermined roles and no room for individuality, we strip them of the chance to build a genuine bond. Jealousy becomes less about personality and more about patriarchy. Silence isn’t a lack of love—it’s fear of overstepping invisible lines.

The Emotional Realities Behind the Smile

Let’s get real for a moment. The bhabhi might be navigating a new home, struggling to adjust, and under pressure to “fit in” while masking her vulnerability. The nanad might be experiencing feelings of displacement, especially if her close bond with her brother changes post-marriage.

These emotional shifts—though natural—often remain unspoken. Why?

Because Indian households rarely offer safe spaces for emotional transparency. Tears are seen as weakness, boundaries are often taboo, and women are taught to “adjust” rather than articulate.

The result? Misunderstandings morph into resentment. Small slights grow into lifelong grudges. And two women, who might have been allies, become silent strangers.

When Sisterhood Turns Sour

Let’s be honest—sometimes, the bhabhi-nanad relationship does get toxic.

Passive-aggressive remarks, micro-aggressions cloaked in “jokes,” subtle power plays over domestic roles, or manipulation that divides families—these are real issues. And often, they stem from an underlying scarcity mindset: the idea that love, space, or respect must be earned by outdoing the other.

But who benefits when women are pitted against each other?

Not the bhabhi. Not the nanad. Certainly not the family.

Stories That Break the Mold

Yet, there are stories that defy this narrative.

Like Riya, a newly married woman who chose to share her struggles with her nanad, instead of hiding them. “We cried together one night,” she recalls. “It was the first time I saw her not as my ‘husband’s sister’ but as a woman trying to find her place, just like me.”

Or Anjali, who, after years of rivalry, decided to invite her bhabhi for a day out—no family, no expectations. “We talked like friends,” she says. “For the first time in ten years.”

These stories show that transformation is possible. But it begins with courage—the courage to see each other beyond roles.

Feminist Lens: Beyond Labels, Toward Liberation

A feminist lens invites us to reflect: What if bhabhi and nanad stopped seeing each other as rivals and started seeing each other as co-travellers?

What if instead of guarding territory, we shared it? What if the sister-in-law bond could be reclaimed as one of solidarity rather than suspicion?

The truth is, the patriarchy thrives when women stay divided. It benefits when the bhabhi is silenced and the nanad is hardened. But when these women begin to understand each other, they not only heal their bond—they begin to heal generations of inherited hurt.

Practical Solutions for Real Change

Here are a few grounded steps toward building (or rebuilding) a healthier bhabhi-nanad relationship:

1. Create Safe Spaces for Communication

Don’t wait for a big event to talk. Start small. Acknowledge each other’s presence, ask about their day, and share something personal. Vulnerability can be a bridge.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Respect each other’s space—physical and emotional. Boundaries aren’t barriers; they are the blueprint of respect.

3. Challenge Gendered Expectations Together

If domestic duties or “ideal woman” roles are creating friction, speak up. Together. Ask: Why should only women cook? Why must respect be one-sided?

4. Don’t Involve the Middleman (Your Brother/Husband)

Solving issues indirectly through him often makes things worse. Build your own equation, independent of him.

5. Celebrate Each Other

From birthdays to career wins—show up for each other. Celebrate not because you must, but because you can.

The Emotional Takeaway: Sisterhood Isn’t Given, It’s Built

At the heart of the bhabhi-nanad dynamic lies an opportunity—an opportunity to rewrite the script. To go beyond roles. To be more than what society expects.

Not every bond will be perfect. Some might remain distant, others may never heal. But wherever there is respect, dialogue, and willingness, there is potential for something beautiful.

So if you’re a bhabhi reading this, or a nanad navigating your emotions—pause and ask: What would happen if I stopped defending my role and started defending the relationship?

Because somewhere, in that brave question, begins the journey toward healing.